Fundraising Update!

Hello everyone! As a heads up, I would like to let you all know that starting next week I will be selling cookie dough to help fundraise for my trip. There will be around six flavors to choose from, and each box has 40 pre-proportioned cookies for only $16! Also, in the near future I will be selling "ignite. inspire. empower." wristbands for $3. If you're interested contact me, and if you're not, tell your friends! As always, your help is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Nicole

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” ― Nelson Mandela

I have been with Children's Global Alliance for three years now, and with each year I still feel an almost overwhelming mix of fear, excitement, anxiety, and joy. Each trip is so different from anything else I have ever experienced- no matter where I am going, I know I will be outside my comfort zone, working with real people who are so different form me in some ways but exactly the same in others (whether it be a girl living in an orphanage who loves dancing to pop music, or a boy with cerebral palsy who has a knack for math). It becomes apparent as soon as you see the smiling face and bright eyes of each child that they are not just victims of tragedy that you read about, but can never connect with or understand. You go there to teach them and to love them, and in return they help you grow and leave footprints on your heart. Which is terrifying. But it's also what makes you a better person, and what makes all the difference on these trips. It is the heart of CGA.

I have been thinking a lot about what I am afraid of most going into Tanzania, and I've come to the conclusion that what scares me the most is that I might come home regretting something I didn't do; that I'll miss an opportunity to give a hug or listen to a story and I will spend my trip home thinking about what I should've done instead of appreciating my time in the orphanage. But I think it's OK if I'm afraid of that. I think, for me, fear is one of my biggest obstacles, and if I can over come it and instead focus on my passion for being a volunteer and working with these kids, I will be able to share love without reservations, and the success of my trip will be so much greater if I focus on the smiles I got instead of hypothetical ones.

I think the most difficult thing, by far, will be being prepared to stand up and help teach English to a classroom full of kids at a moment's notice. As a person who is afraid of talking a lot of the time and doesn't work well under pressure, being able to teach on the spot might be one of the hardest things I will do. But I like to remind myself of this: facing challenges like these head on is one of the reasons I applied for Cambodia two-and-a-half years ago. Opportunities to step outside your comfort zone present themselves every day, but rarely do we take them because of the fear that we will fail. In Tanzania, the only way to fail is to not take the opportunity in the first place. I think knowing that to share the English language will help these children in their daily endeavors -and maybe even inspire them to choose a career involving English that leads them to a better life- will give me courage to stand up there and speak.

I am looking forward to seeing who I become at the end of these three weeks. I hope that I will become a stronger leader and a happier individual, but most of all I hope that I gain confidence during this trip. After each trip I have come back more self-assured and more able to make friends without the anxiety that used to come with meeting new people. These trips are difficult, there is no question about it, but they make you push yourself until you succeed, which is the key part of character growth. There is so much more that I know I will gain from this trip, but the confidence to put myself out there, discuss my opinions without the fear that other people won't like them, and talk freely to people who intimidate me is what I really wish to come back with.

A New Journey

About three weeks ago, I had an interview with Lisa-Marie, Jen Gutmann, and Karlie Cummins about something that I was very excited about. The subject was a service trip to the Naserian School and Orphanage in Arusha, Tanzania, which services 150 kids, 32 of whom live in the orphanage, and I was applying to go. After several hours of anxious waiting and clinging to my phone, I got a call from Lisa-Marie. "How do you think you did?" she asked me, and then she told me that I will be the student mentor for the first trip to Tanzania! This is a huge honor for me and an amazing opportunity. I will be helping teach English in the school, and, most importantly, giving love to the children living in the orphanage who desperately need it. There are no words to describe how much I am looking forward to this trip. I am so excited for this amazing opportunity!

Day 6

Today, our final day at the school, was filled with indescribable emotion, laughter, tears, and partying. I started the morning off by working with Zulema, Astrid, and Maria Jose, playing mostly with clay and markers. We also played a pick-up game of kickball with half the school that the kids who are deaf organized completely on their own. I saw all the growth that every kid had made and felt every connection that had formed between us this morning- I can't begin to say how much every hug this morning meant to me.

Around, 10:30 a.m., the party began. The kitchen was decorated with streamers and balloons, and the teachers were cooking rice, chicken, and coleslaw. Every child got a meal and a cup of soda (which was refilled more than once), and they ate until they were too full to keep eating. It was fantastic to be able to give them so much food that they were so full and couldn't finish- so many of these kids are malnourished. During the party, families of the students and the kids we visited on home visits showed up, and we were able to say hello to them as well. Rosa (Rosita is what Aleyda called her), Jose Manuel (in all his sassy glory), Milagro (who will start attending Escuela Especial on Monday!!!!), and Julisa were all there. Several of the kids got to help crack open the pinata, and when the candy finally spilled out, there was a mad dash to fill their pockets. It was one of the best parties I've ever been to.

The kids left a bit after 12:00 p.m., the time school usually gets out. We said our (tearful) goodbyes, sometimes not being able to let go of each student for a while, and watched them walk home or board the bus. When everyone was finally on their way home, we boarded our own van and went back to the hotel. I can't stop thinking about how much I miss every single one of those kids. I came to love them so much over the past five days. Their intelligence and ability to surprise everyone with how much they knew changed the way I will think about people with disabilities forever. The way that some of their families treat them only inspires me more to help them and people like them, giving as many hugs and kisses and words of kindness as possible. They have changed me in so many ways, some that I am not even aware of yet, and I will never be able to forget how special this week was. Truthfully, it brings tears to my eyes to think that I might not see them ever again, but I remember how much good we all did this week and how much we changed their lives, and it makes me feel a little better. I am so grateful to have met them, and they'll be in my heart always!

Day 5

In the morning, I worked in the arts and crafts classroom, where they teach life skills to the girls that attend the class. We did a lot of coloring and sweeping, and even though it was hot, I really enjoyed working with these girls and getting to know them better, because they are all so unique.

This afternoon, Tyra, Sammie, Max, Sarah, three of our translators, and I went on two more home visits. We first visited the home of a sweet fourteen-year-old girl named Milagro and checked up on her, giving her family diapers and a bag of food. Walking into her house, I knew that she was not well taken care of, but I had no idea how bad her situation really was. Milagro has cerebral palsy, and her mother has done the minimal amount of physical therapy that could possibly be done, so her tendons were tight, she had no muscle tone, and her arms and legs had been stuck growing in the same position for so long that they were contorted and she could barely move. She was so skinny and dirty -it was obvious that her mother hadn't been taking care of her- that she must've been miserable, but the enormous smile that spread across her face when we hugged and kissed her was unforgettable. She was so excited to have people be loving and kind to her for the first time in so long, and it was such an honor to be able to be a source of that love. Her mother, knowing that we would be reporting our findings to Lisa Marie and trying to help Milagro, put on some music and started singing to her child, putting on a show for the rest of us, when in reality that was probably the first time her mother had even talked to her in days. However, despite how we feel about her mother, we are all intent on bringing Milagro to our party at the school tomorrow, where she will be socializing with all of the kids there and receiving love and affection from all of us.

The second house we visited was home to Julisa, who was twenty-three and also had cerebral palsy. When we got to where she lived, her mother pulled her out of a tiny room on the side of the house. We found out that she is rarely taken out of this room. She hasn't bathed in a while (though her mother said she has, it was evident that this was not the case), she has seizures almost every day, and she hasn't pooped in fifteen days. The only toy that she plays with is a pink trash bag. After talking to her mother more and taking pictures with Julisa, we said our goodbyes and gave Julisa a hug. She was very enthusiastic about the hugging, and when Max came up to her, she held on to him as long and as well as she could. However, this will not be the last time that we see her, because she also might come to Escuela Especial for our party tomorrow! I look forward to seeing her then!

Seeing these girls today was such an incredible experience. They were both so sweet, and I wanted to take them back home with me. But seeing how they lived and what their families were like brought tears to my eyes. I don't understand how someone could treat their human child with such blatant disregard. Our translator, Zack, said to Milagro's mother today, "Do you believe in God? This is an angel sent to you from Heaven. You have to take care of her for the rest of your life." Zack hit the nail on the head- every child, every human life is so precious, especially Milagro's and Julisa's. The fact that their families don't understand that and put so little effort into caring for them makes me incredibly angry. I feel better, though, knowing that I will see them tomorrow and I'll be able to give them a million hugs, a million kisses, and all the love that they deserve.

Tonight, we are preparing 130 bags for every family who sends their child to Escuela Especial. I can't wait to see the kids' faces when we give them to them! We are going to have an amazing goodbye party tomorrow, where we'll celebrate everything that the kids have taught us and what we have taught them. It's going to be an exciting day!

Day 4

I can't believe it's Wednesday already! This week has gone by so fast. We have made a lot of progress and done some amazing things.

This morning I went on three home visits with Aleyda, our translator, Carmen Margherita, the physical therapist who leads the home visits in the morning, and Tyra, my friend and teammate. The first house we visited was home to a little boy named Earling. He was a month and a half old, and he lived with his sister (who was two years old), his mother, and one other person. Earling has one leg that was much shorter than the other. Because he has a disability, his father made Earling, his mother, and his sister leave their house and live somewhere farther away and much smaller. However, Earling was adorable and well cared for by his family, and I'll get to see him soon because his mother said that he's going to Escuela Especial on Friday!

The second family we visited is temporarily living in a house that they take care of for another family. Eight people live with them, including the precious little Rosita, who is the child we were there to see. Rosita is a three-year-old with cerebral paralysis, and since she is sick today, Carmen didn't do physical therapy with her. Instead, we asked questions and found out that she's had a fever for the past three or four days, and she had several missing teeth and wasn't eating. Later in the day, we told Lisa Marie about this, and hopefully we'll be able to get Rosita to a doctor soon.

Our final journey was to see a boy named Jose Manuel. He is currently two years old, and was born with his arms connected to his torso and his legs stuck together, without elbow joints. He had surgery, and now his limbs are separated. Carmen did exercises with him that helped him strengthen his arms. She had him use both of his hands to play on a toy piano (he was really excited about that), and throw a pencil across the room. My favorite part about this visit was when Tyra and I left and he called "Bye, honey!" after us in Spanish (which Aleyda translated, and then laughed at).

These home visits were really enlightening. Just like in Cambodia, the living conditions were much worse than any of us are accustomed to. I am so fortunate to be living in a two-story house with enough rooms and a loving family. Today I experienced the cruelty of some people, like Earling's father, and the kindness of those like Rosita's brother, who was holding her lovingly during our entire visit. As the day went on, I was more and more appreciative of my own family and the things they do for me.

In the later part of the morning, I worked with Zulema, who is very talkative, but doesn't say words that you can understand. At first, we worked on writing, and I held her hand and helped her practice writing the letters of the alphabet. Then, since Ava helped her say "boca" yesterday, I tried holding up flashcards and pronouncing each word with her. Though she didn't say any of the words I wanted her to, it made my day when I held up the card for "eyes" and she rubbed her own eyes and then clapped, knowing she'd gotten it right.

Each day here is different from the last. I learn something new from a student every time I work with them, and it is so great to feel like I'm giving them something by teaching them. I have seen how great these students are, and I look forward to doing more tomorrow!

Day 3

Today was really productive. I started the morning off by working in the pre-school classroom. There are five kids in this room: Victor, Jose Andres, Francisco, Josuan, and Ever, who are just about the cutest things in the entire world. Victor didn't leave my side almost the whole time, which was adorable. We colored together, and I tried to teach him the names of the colors in Spanish. I also worked with Ever (who is incredibly smart even with his autism) on numbers and the alphabet. When he was able to say all of the numbers up to ten, we started working on letters. They were a lot more challenging for him. I figured out that he would only say the letter when I wrote it with the crayon that he gave to me. I’d write the letters several times and then say them so that he could imitate me, and eventually he would say "A" and "B"! He disengaged after "B", but it was unbelievably rewarding to continuously try to get him to say something and then finally get him to say it.

I payed a lot of attention to Josuan, who has cerebral palsy and needs to strengthen the muscles in his hands and arms. I gave him some clay at first, but he wouldn't hold on to it, so I tried holding his hand and prompting him to squeeze back. This was also one of those situations when you have to repeatedly try to get the child to do what you ask them to, but I eventually got one definite squeeze from him before we switched classrooms, which warmed my heart because it mean progress.

After lunch, I worked with a boy (appropriately) named Darwin. Darwin also has cerebral palsy, but he is incredibly smart. In class, he is currently doing what the rest of his classmates can do, but if his teacher pushed him and he had more resources, he could do so much more. Today I worked on addition and subtraction with him. His teacher said that he didn't know how to do either form of math, but Sarah told me that he's done it with her before, and I decided to try it. Through our translator, Zach, I did simple addition and subtraction with him and he picked it up straight away. The huge smile that spread across his face when we congratulated him was easily my favorite part of the day. 

Darwin is an example of most of the kids at Escuela Especial. They all have so much potential, and only lack resources and the individual tutoring that we have in the states. I see in Darwin what I saw in Tanya, Ever, and all the other children at this school. I am honored to be able to be teaching and interacting with these kids, and it makes me so excited to think about what they could be in the world if we give them enough help and love.

Tomorrow is another day, and I intend to do all that I can to help these kids!