Well, here we are. The
very last trip home of my very last adventure with CGA is finally here. It
still hasn’t quite registered that next summer I will not be preparing lesson
plans, studying a new language, or brainstorming fundraising ideas. At least,
not with CGA. It seems like the end of an era, and though I feel a sense of
accomplishment wrapping around my heart, this goodbye was the most difficult.
As with all of my CGA
trips, I felt myself grow immensely during my time in Nepal. I became not only
a better teacher, but someone who is more able to listen to feedback, adapt to
unexpected difficulties, and think on my toes. Our last few days at the school
were grueling, rewarding, and more challenging than ever before. I have said it
more times than I can count and will say it over and over again: teaching is
one of the hardest professions on this planet. Standing in front of a classroom
made my palms feel like oceans and my heartrate increase to a million beats per
minute, but the stress, preparation, and occasional moments of ridiculousness
were worth even the hope that I filled a child’s brain with something useful.
By our final day at Deeya Shree, I was more confident in my ability as a
teacher than I have ever been before, and I got into the van stumbling with
exhaustion, but feeling so incredibly successful. There is a special type of
satisfaction that comes with pouring your heart and soul into something and
seeing results, and I’ve felt this sensation washing over me every moment since
my last day in Nepal.
Leaving our friends in
Durbar Square was heartbreaking. Even after such a short time, my heart is
filled with love for the incredible people who went out of their way to show us
kindness. On our last night, they spent hours cooking us dinner and presented
us with gifts and notes that said “WE WILL REMEMBER YOU!” Our last morning
consisted of teary-eyed hugs goodbye, as well as words of gratitude from us to
them for all they had taught us. Sentiments like these are what have made every
one of my CGA trips truly special – not the food we ate, the temples we saw, or
even the cows in the streets, but the extraordinarily warm hearts of the people
we meet and their capacity to give, even during the most difficult of times.
When we sat in the
guesthouse together after dinner, reflecting on how the last four years of our
lives were about to come to a close, Lisa Marie and Jen asked each of us what Children’s
Global Alliance has contributed to our lives. For me, CGA has had such a complex
role in my life that it is impossible to explain to anyone who hasn’t been
there to witness it. Without being forced to step outside of the world I had
known, I would still be the quiet, insecure, ignorant girl that I was before I
left for Cambodia. Because I left my comfort zone, because I was exposed to the
poverty and kind souls of people around the world, because I made connections
with people whose backgrounds were polar opposites of mine, I became an
entirely new person. I have learned to stick up for what I believe in, to be
grateful for all the luxuries I have, and never to miss an opportunity to help
another person. I am certain that I would not have the confidence to do half
the things that I am doing now, from applying for a job to earning a varsity
position on my soccer team, without the experiences I have had with CGA. This
organization holds such a special place in my heart, and if I would have told
myself in 2012 that I would travel four times with Lisa Marie and Jen, that I would
see things I never could have dreamed of, and that I would learn more from
people I met across the world than I ever had in school, I would have stayed up
all night trying to paint a picture of all this in my head and still would have
fallen short. And though my heart is heavy with the thought that I will never travel
with this team again, I know that the rest of my life will be richer because of
the incredible journeys that I have made.
I can’t express enough
gratitude to CGA for all of the ways they have added meaning to my life, but I
can go forward and live gratefully, intentionally, and with drive. At the age
of sixteen, I have done more valuable work than many people will in their
entire lives, and I have become a better person because of it. With this in
mind, I’m moving into the next years of adolescence with love in my heart and
passion in my soul. So, my final words on this blog will be these: Goodbye for
now, CGA, and hello to the next chapter of my life.
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